Anyone for Me? Read online




  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Epilogue

  Chapter 1 Anyone for Seconds?

  Also by Fiona Cassidy

  Anyone for Seconds?

  Published by Poolbeg

  This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names,

  characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the

  author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons,

  living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

  Ebook Published 2012

  by Poolbeg Press Ltd

  123 Grange Hill, Baldoyle

  Dublin 13, Ireland

  E-mail: [email protected]

  www.poolbeg.com

  © Fiona Cassidy 2010

  Copyright for typesetting, layout, design, ebook

  © Poolbeg Press Ltd

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  ISBN 978-1-781990643

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photography, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. The book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  www.poolbeg.com

  Note on the Author

  Fiona Cassidy is more locally known as Fionnuala McGoldrick. She

  still retains the Christian name given to her by her birth mother before she was adopted at four months old. She is an only child and grew up in Galbally, Co Tyrone. She currently lives in Donaghmore with her partner Philip and their collective children. She has recently given up work to pursue a career in writing and teaches creative writing classes and facilitates workshops when she can. She enjoys reading, collects quirky unusual jewellery and loves anything to do with angels.

  You can visit her at www.fionacassidy.net. or follow her blog at www.cassidysez.blogspot.com

  Acknowledgements

  I am a writer but first and foremost I am a wife (nearly . . . woohoo!!) and a mother and I would be nothing without my wonderful family. Philip, I love you more than words can say. You are an amazing man, a fantastic partner and a brilliant father! Thank you for your incredible support throughout the past nine years and especially since the publication of Anyone for Seconds? when life became very mad indeed. Every writer should have a ‘hubby’ like you in the wings! We have six children between us and love them all very much. Colm, Úna, Ciarán and Áine thank you for making our home such a happy and enjoyable place to be and showing us each and every day how much you love us! Since the release of Anyone for Me? in trade paperback in August our family has been blessed with a new addition in the form of baby Orán who arrived safe and well on 7th February this year (four weeks early in a very dramatic fashion . . . it’s going to end up in a book so I’m not telling you any more!). He is a very special little boy who gave his mammy and daddy something to look forward to during some very dark days within the last number of months when life was hard for various reasons. I want him to know that I will always appreciate his comforting little kicks and nudges which reminded me that life is too short to spend time mourning what you haven’t got when, in fact, you should be counting your blessings and thanking God for what is in front of you!

  I owe a massive debt of gratitude to my very supportive friends who are the best cheerleading squad anyone could ask for. Noeleen, Katrina, Carrie-Ann, Rachel, Joanna, Rosalind and Denise, you are always there no matter what happens. Thanks, girls, for helping me celebrate the good times and picking me up and putting me back together again when life is challenging which it very often is in my world – but, hey, you’d all be bored stiff without the drama and the laughs we get! Thanks also to Paula (on-call hairdresser who I hope to move in one day!), to Tina for being a good friend in difficult times and Gary Hamilton for his contribution to the book with the word ‘dander’.

  I’d also like to mention Melissa Mellon, who was brought into my life for a reason at the right time and has been a very good friend to me and given me a lot of comfort with her uplifting messages of hope and insightful chats!

  Thanks to Adrian Kelly (and his wife Ciara) for sharing his story with me and giving his shoulder to cry on when I found it hard to cope with my circumstances. Heartfelt appreciation also to Doctor Maureen Crawford for being an understanding and sensitive confidante all down the years and to Ann and the wonderful Brigeen who more recently have helped me more than they will ever know.

  I would also like to acknowledge my extended family, namely the Cassidys, McGearys (Clarksons and Grahams in America included) and McAllisters (Glengormley and Australia) for their love and good wishes and for promoting me abroad and tripping to book signings and events where possible, which means the world to me! I promised my future brother-in-law Stephen a special ‘shout out’ in the next book and true to my word would like to thank him for providing plenty of craic and leaving a trail of teabags behind him wherever he goes! I would also like to mention Edel Woods and Brigid-Ann McGoldrick who are the best sisters-in-law anyone could have!

  To my ‘writer’ friends, I thank you for being there in good times and in bad, i.e. when deadlines are looming or when a pickaxe is required to hack through the writer’s block! Claire Allan . . . just exactly where would I be without you? You have been a rock to me in more ways than one over the last number of years and have gone from simply being a fellow writer to a very special friend (as well as the reason I like Cosmopolitans so much!). I’d also like to mention Sharon Owens who has been incredibly kind to me and gave me the great honour of not only attending her book launch last November but allowing me to fulfil a lifelong dream by meeting Brendan and Declan Murphy from The Four of Us while I was at it! Thanks also to Emma
Heatherington for all the laughs on the library tour along with Mrs Allen and to all the library staff from across Northern Ireland who made us so welcome!

  As always thanks to the ‘Write-On’ girls, especially Jacqui, Megan, Oonagh, Angie, Claire, Jo and Susanne – I know you have the PR for my books well covered south of the border as well as further afield. And congratulations to Shirley Benton who has just had her first novel published and become part of the Poolbeg gang!

  Gratitude also to all the organisations both north and south of the border for allowing me to do what I enjoy most by giving me the opportunity to promote myself and teach Creative Writing to others. Special thanks to Geraldine Quinn and the staff at The Peace Factory in Dungannon, Catherine McInerney from LitNet NI and Carol Doey (who is as daft as a brush . . . but sure all mad writers are . . . I should know!!).

  Thanks to the people of Galbally for their ongoing support. I couldn’t be part of a more close-knit or special community and I am very grateful for the good wishes, cards, presents and general encouragement! The launch of Anyone for Me? in August which took place in Tally’s Bar in Galbally was a fabulous night and I’d like to extend particular thanks to Paddy Tally, Rose, and local band Daybreak (AKA David McCrory and Kevin Christie) who all helped to make the evening the success it was. Thanks also to our friends and neighbours in Donaghmore especially Jim Hamill (best photographer in the world) and his wife Rossi, Malachy Comac and Gary McKay.

  I am deeply indebted to all the media locally, regionally, and also in the Republic. Thank you so much for the television and radio interviews, book reviews, features and news articles which I will hoard indefinitely.

  Thanks also to Chick Lit Reviews for inviting me to blog on their website and to Malachi Cush who not only has compered my last two book launches but who promotes me where possible! Appreciation also to TP and Madeleine Sheehy from Sheehy’s Bookshop in Cookstown and Lisa Blevins from Eason’s Craigavon for allowing me to have signings in store and promoting me as a local author!

  I’d also like to give special thanks to the National Lottery, Damien Smyth and the Arts Council of Northern Ireland who have all shown faith in me and demonstrated that by awarding me funding as an individual artist. Thanks as always to my personal proofreader Ruth Daly and her husband Finbarr. I must also acknowledge my friend and solicitor Kieran Quinn who allowed me to wreck his head with endless questions about wills and Irish land law in order to tweak a storyline within the book!

  Immense gratitude to Paula Campbell and Sarah Ormston for their support and hard work in relation to my writing (it’s no wonder you get referred to under the umbrella term ‘the lovely people from Poolbeg’). Thanks also to my eagle-eyed editor Gaye Shortland for caring enough to make the book perfect for publication! Huge appreciation must also go to my dear friend and extremely hardworking and genuinely lovely agent Emma Walsh, whose advice and guidance are always spot on and ability to promote me in the right places superb – thank you for everything (including the motivational kick-starts and therapy sessions) – hopefully I’ll make it all worth your while one of these days!

  I’d also like to give a special mention to Frances Nicholson from BAAF Northern Ireland who has been very kind and empathetic towards me. Gratitude also to Anna Reynolds and to Patron Nimmy March who it was a pleasure to meet during the celebrations for National Adoption Week in Belfast last November. The British Association for Adoption and Fostering do great work in placing children, who find themselves within the care system, with foster families as well as with adoptive parents. Without organisations such as these many children would find themselves without a place in this world and as an adoptee I would like to extend my thanks to them for working so hard to make a difference. I gained a lot from being an ‘Adoption Champion’ for BAAF and raising awareness of a subject that is very close to my heart and hope that I can continue to help and promote this cause as much as possible in the future!

  You’re probably wondering why I’m being a bold child and neglecting to mention my parents until this point but my reason is quite simple . . . I wanted to save the best for last. Writing Anyonefor Me? has been a journey, not only into the world of being a published author, but also of self-discovery. Being born into difficult circumstances and subsequently put up for adoption could have had any number of outcomes for me but thankfully I was one of the lucky ones who was placed in a good home with the most fantastic parents any child could wish for. My parents, Peter and Eileen, have been wonderful and I owe them dearly, not only for always being honest about my parentage, but also for supporting me in everything I do and giving me an identity to be proud of.

  Part of the reason why I wrote this book was because I wanted to give my central character the storyline I had often hoped and dreamed of for myself but have never had and never will have. Although it is important to know where you come from it is also just as vital to be aware of what you have and as far as I’m concerned I have it all! I wish my birth mother well in her life as I now finally realise that I am at peace with ‘who I am’ and look forward to the years ahead with the best family in the world!

  For Mammy and Daddy

  (Peter and Eileen) . . .

  I'm so glad we found each other and

  am proud to be your daughter

  And

  For Baby Orán

  whose recent arrival has made me

  appreciate the good things in life!

  Chapter 1

  ‘Wedding Belles.’ I looked at the sign in distaste, whilst Frankie (my best friend and highly excitable bling-loving bridesmaid) stood beside me and hugged herself with glee.

  “I never thought this day would come, Ruby. Imagine, in less than a year you’ll be an old married woman!”

  What she really meant to say was that she was shocked to the core that I was actually getting married (that anyone would be brave enough to take me on) and that she was even more amazed at the fact that I wasn’t insisting on taking my vows in my combats and T-shirt (although now that I thought of it . . .)

  I looked at myself from every angle, cursed the unforgiving lighting which showed up every freckle and imperfection I possessed (of which there were many) and swiftly decided that if I had a piece of kiwi fruit perched on my head I’d be every meringue-lover’s idea of a treat!

  “You look marvellous,” trilled the bridal-shop assistant. “Although you could probably benefit from a bit of padding in the boob department,” she added whilst groping my person.

  “Oh God! Don’t do that!” Frankie muttered before asking the stupid woman (who quite obviously had a death wish) to excuse us. Frankie was petite and pretty with big blue eyes and blonde hair. She was immaculately dressed as always and usually had a large grin on her face but right now for some reason she was looking terrified.

  “There’s no need to attack her, you know,” she whispered to me, the assistant having discreetly withdrawn from the fitting area. “All that probing and touching is part of their job – a bit like the way they feel the top of your toes to make sure your shoes fit properly.” Frankie was looking nervously towards the door in case the assistant appeared and I pounced – and my unsuspecting victim lost her hair extensions and went home minus a few porcelain tooth-veneers.

  “She just copped a feel. I am nearly a married woman but does that stop an opportunist with a fetish for corsets and horrific-looking net skirts from trying it on? Quite obviously not. Please unzip me from this monstrosity and take me home. Now.”

  “But that’s the first dress you’ve tried on, Ruby! You didn’t think it would be as easy as all that, did you? It’s not like going shopping for a pair of jeans, y’know.”

  “That’s an idea actually,” I muttered. “I wonder would anyone mind me turning up in my 501s? I am the bride after all so I think that should give me the right to wear exactly what I want, don’t you?”

  “I am not even going to dignify that with an answer,” Frankie said in a stern tone whilst peering round my shoulder and strug
gling with the zip. “Days off and childcare are hard to come by and I am not wasting this opportunity to see you in a posh frock.”

  “‘Frock’,” I repeated disdainfully. “What era do you think we live in, Frankie?”

  “The era where brides actually care about looking nice on their wedding day and are not difficult when their friends try and help them.”

  I sighed as I stepped out of the dress. I had come a long way in the last few years. Before I met Luke I had hardly worn make-up at all but now found that I didn’t mind wearing a little lip-gloss and using kohl eyeliner to accentuate my eyes. I had forgotten that getting married entailed wearing a dress, however, and was less than impressed with the idea. I simply didn’t ‘do’ skirts and hadn’t donned one since the day I left school.

  “I made out a list,” Frankie wheedled. “If you don’t like it here, there are three other bridal boutiques we can try. Come on, Ruby! Do it for me and do it for Luke. Imagine his face as you walk down the aisle looking radiant in a gorgeous dress with flowers in your hair!”

  I opened my mouth to protest that there wouldn’t be so much as a stem getting near my head but found I couldn’t speak as I had an image in my head of Luke’s reaction. I really did love him, and he was so good about accepting me the way I was (narky and stubborn most of the time) that the idea of surprising him really appealed to me. I couldn’t imagine ever being described as radiant, though (not unless you count the fact that my hair looks like a bright red beacon).

  There was a time that I didn’t like Luke Reilly very much. On our first meeting he was lucky to escape with his vital organs still attached and in working order. When we met he was employed by a local newsrag and had taken photographs of Frankie and her partner Owen from a video still which showed them in a rather compromising position on student prize day in the college where we all work. It was, in fact, a very innocent kiss which got blown completely out of proportion but on a lighter note is the funniest graduation-day anecdote in Redmond College history. Well, everyone with the exception of Frankie and Owen thinks so. You can actually see them twitch when it’s mentioned (which the rest of us do with wicked regularity). We soon got over that little hitch, however, and are now getting hitched (pardon the pun).